And they weren’t even Red Sox fans. Well, there were a bunch of those too. But I’d like to concentrate on the group of high school dopes that were sitting behind my wife and I as we took in the rubber game of the Red Sox series on Wednesday.

This guy was screaming so loudly that my ears were literally ringing. I don’t mind loud fans, what I do mind is ignorant “fans”. This guy was going on about how Ichiro sucked, and didn’t deserve his paycheck, and that he doesn’t contribute to the team, blah, blah, blah. I didn’t have the heart to break it to this loud-mouthed young man, that Ichiro was the best player on the Mariners… by far, and a future Hall of Famer. And while no one really “deserves” $16 million to play a game, there’s such a thing as market economics, which I’m sure he’ll fail, should he ever make it to college.

All at the same time, it got worse, but it also got better. One of the shining moments in the game was when he and his mush-brained buddies stepped out to grab some ice cream (which he proceeded to slurp down in my ear). So we, and the people around us got a little reprieve from his idiocy. But, as they always do, they came back. Wiping the tear from my eye (and wishing for industrial-sized ear plugs), we braced for the final 3 innings.

The cherry on top of the slurped sundae for me was in the top of the 8th inning after Erik Bedard had been replaced  by Brandon Morrow. First the dope started screaming about the Dallas Stars. I’m not a hockey guy, but apparently the Dallas Stars captain is Brenden Morrow. The Screamer seemed really excited by this cross-sport name similarity. Stunning really. So following this achievement in heckling your own team about a guy who has a similar name, but plays a different sport, he starts chanting “Let’s go Erik! Let’s go Erik!” I, of course, try to restrain myself, but can’t help laughing. My wonderful, beautiful, brilliant wife turns to him with her angelic (albeit cheeky) grin and says “That’s not even who’s pitching anymore.” Oh the pride. Oh the love.  Words really cannot express the flutter and joy of my heart. The sweetest woman in the world just shut down this dope so few words. His response, “I’m an idiot.” Truer words have never been spoken, my friend. Truer words have never been spoken.

Apparently Joakim and his Gator buddies are still celebrating their National Championships, except now, Joakim, everyone knows about. The guy who has done nothing but disappoint and piss off his teammates will apparently now have to deal with some legal issues due to his arrest for having a open alcohol container and possession of marijuana.

Now that the Bulls have the number one pick in the upcoming draft, Noah will need to be on his best behavior. He’s not going to be the hot commodity (not that he ever was). Whoever the Bulls pick will have to remember that they can call Noah to score some dope. I’m not sure he’d share with someone who’s not in “Gator Nation”.

Let me give you a guy’s career numbers and you tell me if you want this guy.

• Averaging 25 home runs per year
• Will get you about 10 steals a year
• .319 career batting average
• .934 career OPS
• 28 years old
• Right-handed outfielder
• One year left on his contract
• will cost you over $10 million a year (with new contract probably more than $15 million per)

It’s Matt Holliday, and the Rockies will be looking to deal him. They know they won’t be able to afford his new contract and want to deal him while he still has a year on his contract to get more/better prospects.

I know the Cubs have the best offense in baseball, but thinking long term, Matt Holliday would be perfect in Chicago. He’s a fan favorite and would instantly have a Mark Grace-like following in Chicago. An outfield of Soriano in left, Fukudome in center and Holliday in right is so appealing that, if I am Jim Hendry, I have to look long and hard at trying to get this deal done. Now, I know Holliday’s a leftfielder, but he could make the switch to right pretty easily.

So the question stands, are you interested? Why or why not?

Tribune Photo by Phil Velasquez

My dislike for Jim Edmonds continues. So does Carlos Zambrano’s, but he definitely is putting on a nice face. Me, I’m less inclined to be excited about a 38 year old centerfielder who has had diminishing skills for the last 3 years, and was batting .178 in San Diego before he was cut last week. Forgive for not rolling out the welcome wagon for this aging former rival.

I’m open to him being a serviceable platoon player, I’m less open to him becoming my favorite player. He may end up being one of those guys you hate on the other team, and love on your own. I’ve been known to do that a little (Dennis Rodman). It seemed, yesterday, that Chicago was willing to give this guy a chance by cheering him in his first at bat, but also keep him on a short leash. He was booed after striking out with the bases loaded, 1 out in the seventh inning.

• George Sherrill is 1-0 with 15 saves and an ERA of 3.79
• Erik Bedard has started 6 games, with a 2-2 record and a 3.48 ERA.
• The Mariners have 16 wins.

If the trade is straight up, with those numbers, I’m not even sure that I pull the trigger. I want my money back. Or at least Adam Jones please.

So there are rumors flying around that the Cubs will sign recently-released centerfielder Jim Edmonds. Please don’t… please no. Edmonds is one of my least favorite baseball players of all time. Perhaps it’s because he was a Cub-killer when we was with the St. Louis, or maybe because he just seems like a smug punk.

The Cubs need a lefthanded bat, sure. But he’s old, and injury-prone. He’s a clubhouse leader. Do the Cubs need that? I suppose that if he is willing to take a limited role, and just contribute the small amount that I think he has in the tank to a Cubs championship run, it’d be ok. Well, I still don’t like it. Please don’t do it. You can find a lefthanded bat elsewhere.

Another Mother’s Day and more pink bats. I love the tradition that MLB and the Susan G. Komen for the Cure started two years ago to raise awareness and money for breast cancer research and awareness. On this Mother’s Day, I also wanted to send love out to my Mom. I love you, thanks for encouraging my love of sports.

So tell me again why Rich Hill was pulled from the rotation? I know that he’s been pounded this year, but I think I’d rather have him in the rotation and take his lumps and save Jon Lieber in the bullpen. He’s been successful in that role all season.

Lou, get Rich Hill back in the rotation, he’s the franchise.

CBSSports.com reports:

Chicago Bears running back Cedric Benson failed a sobriety test while operating a 30-foot boat, then resisted arrest before being hit with pepper spray and dragged ashore by officers.

Cut him. Cut him now. Jerry Angelo and Lovie Smith should cut their losses on this guy. He’s only been trouble since the Bears drafted him and now they have a legitimate exit plan. Cut him.

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For all of the crap that Richie Sexson gets here in Seattle, Thursday’s home run was his sixth of the season and 100th since becoming a Mariner. Richie hit the century mark in 463 games, that’s the fastest in team history. Alex Rodriguez reached 100 Mariner home runs in 470 games. I am a huge fan of Big Sexy, but I never thought I’d say that Richie was a more successful Mariner than A-Rod in any category. Nice work Richie, forget about the boos, and the strike outs, and just bask in the glow of 100. But not for too long. Your team needs you. And remember Richie, don’t swing at sliders in the dirt… they eat you up.